December 2023 Newsletter: Mid-December Requires Grit!

In my recent conversations with parents, kids, educators, and administrators, many are feeling the intensity of mid-December in one way or another. Often they are describing what I call "third-quarter syndrome". The name comes from athletics and refers to the third quarter of a game or the third lap around the track while racing the mile. It's that point in the endeavor when much effort has been exerted but the light at the end of the tunnel can't yet be seen. Mid-December holds a lot of "third-quarter syndrome" for educators and students alike! This phenomenon definitely happens other times throughout the year, especially the last couple of weeks leading up to April vacation. However, I will argue that mid-December "third-quarter syndrome" requires even more grit. Coupled with the holidays and all their potentially accompanying stress, traumatic reaction activation, excitement, anticipation, planning, and increased activities, this is often one challenging time of year for educators. 

When we come together on any given day in schools and in classrooms, the soil is fertile for emotional contagion simply due to being in one space and attempting to work collaboratively over a significant duration of time. Now, add in "third-quarter syndrome" and the holidays and the energy is often spinning. This can lead to educators and students experiencing increased emotional dysregulation, misbehavior, mental health challenges, classroom disruptions, etc. So, besides the "grin and bear it" and "hope for the 22nd to come fast", how can we move through this time in a way that meets our needs, and the needs of our students more effectively?

When I hear the word "grit", the first image that comes to mind is someone putting their head down and plowing through a challenge. That is what our culture celebrates. However, Angela Duckworth's definition of grit, is "a combination of passion and perseverance for a singularly important goal". So, how do we cultivate grit to move through December in a way to maintains our wellness and therefore our effectiveness with our students? 

Passion and perseverance are two things that are often found in abundance for educators. So, you're most likely already primed for success in these ways. The challenge is to balance this passion and hard work for our students by sending that energy inward to maintain our own capacity in equal measure. 

In my book, Empowered by the Human Design, one of the most important concepts is the understanding of the difference between fractionated self-care and integrated self-care put forth by Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg. Here's a sneak peak: "Dr. Ginsburg clarified the difference between “fractionated self-care” and “integrated self-care.” The former are practices that happen separate or fractioned from the source of the pain, whereas the latter occur as an integrated response to the pain. He acknowledged that fractioned practices such as going to yoga and getting a massage, have benefits. They can serve to increase our capacity in some ways. However, the challenge is that when we are constantly stressed to the max, each time we go back into work, the cycle of stress at work and coping outside of work can become an added stress." Instead, when we cope in the same moment as the stress, we move through it and don't carry it."

So, what are some examples of integrated self-care strategies? Developing healthy mindsets, fostering effective regulation practices, building and utilizing a supportive social network, enforcing appropriate boundaries with care, etc. are strategies we can learn to implement that support our wellness in the midst of the stress. And this leads to increased educator regulation which allows us to be coregulators for ours students, which, in turn, increases calm in the classroom and helps to mitigate emotional contagion.

These strategies take learning, exploration, and building. If you're interested in learning more, send me a message. For now, try out this powerful mantra, "One breath for me, one breath for them.", as a way to encourage mindful, deep breathing that activates the social engagement state (and therefore calms us) while providing self-compassion and compassion for the person with whom we are working. 

So my challenge for you over the next week and a half is to get gritty with your own integrated self-care strategies!